Happy Holy Day!

170 years ago today, The Bab was martyred by public firing squad. The event was witnessed by thousands, as was the miraculous circumstances that took place. The first volley of bullets only severed the ropes tying the Bab’s hands, and when the smoke cleared He was nowhere to be found. When the search was conducted, He was found back in His cell, finishing His conversation with His amanuensis. It is recounted that He told His executioners that no earthly power can stop Him or this new Revelation from being released. He then was led back to the city square where the next volley of 750 bullets found their mark, and only His face was left unscathed. His remains are now buried at the Shrine of the Bab, located in Haifa, Israel.

Today is the observance in the Baha’i world of that event that took place in 1850. It’s quite an inspiring story, and one of the few accounts where a miracle is recounted. Although many miracles were performed by Baha’u’llah, these were intentionally left out of the historical narrative because they will not serve to convince anyone who did not witness them firsthand, and, therefore, they are not useful proofs of His station.

I think about the miracles in my life and I’m grateful for the experience of witnessing them. Cartograstrology is one such case, as is the circumstances surrounding what I experienced beginning on the 7th of November of 2017 leading up to the 17th. The whole buildup leading to the November 17 tweet, and then noticing the patterns within the two sentences themselves, unraveling a whole encyclopedia of knowledge and catalyzing a quest to learn its purpose in my life; it is unforgettable, really.

What followed thereafter was confusion of just how to navigate the strange relationships I had uncovered, and doing it in such a way that would be as least combative as possible. From my past experiences, I found that by going direct and straight up asking, “Is this true that you know these things?” would not provide answers but rather denial and even outright lying, I decided that I would instead play a game, hence the cryptic tweet and the mysterious signs that followed. Two and a half years later, I wonder if I even made any friends of these two by playing this game, but what else could I have done differently? At the very least some artwork got made by me and influenced them. I guess that is the silver lining; the creative process was fueled.

So here we are now, in the days between the 7th and the 17th of the seventh month in the 177th year since the birth of this new Revelation, and I’m ready now to just forget these past three years, really. How can one just forget about this? I don’t really know, but I can try.

In November of 2017, that ten-day period leading up to that tweet was intense and emotional. I only knew that I had to find out what to do when the 17th came around, and when it did, what came to me was picking one or the other as some kind of victor in a choosing game, because you can’t have both, even though I do not know either of them personally, even still today. I wasn’t too comfortable that I was participating in a squabble; it went against my core values of being a true friend and promoting peace and reconciliation, but what the hell. Lindsey wins! Go celebrate. Gloat even, I don’t mind all that much. I was also being heavily influenced by my interpretation of the lyrics in “Golden Years” and “White Dress” from Dia’s album Bruises, plus I love Stealing Like an Artist!

As I look at it now, I can see that I have never had anything to offer you, Lindsey, at least as a love interest. I’m not getting baptized, therefore no sealing, so you will not ever be given to me in submission at the altar, nor let me lead the marriage for time and eternity in the afterlife, nor reunite with me and your family with our heavenly parents, and, as an exalted Heavenly Father myself after having created another planet, together with you and my other heavenly wives, we will not populate this new planet with spirit children. It all sounds so tantalizing, but no.

I also recount that Valentine’s Day letter I wrote. I said that I would not repeat what I did in the past to someone else and just disappear without a word. I should honor that so y’all are not left to wonder. So, Lindsey, we need to let this go. Dia can have her victory. She seems to already be celebrating. She knows she can drag this on and leave me waiting for her call for as long as she desires, because it has been made quite obvious that I’m enthralled by all this. Vulnerability at its finest. Enjoy it. I guess I have to just come along for the ride it seems.

But if one thing cartograstrology is good for, it is for helping me see things to come. Like a song I know.

With my white dress on I thought I was running to an angel anchored in the cold November wind

With my white dress on
But I won't be again
I won't be again

Perhaps the “only one” that remains behind is me? All by my lonesome. I’m still fine with that. I’m just glad that I will have a much better idea come the 17th, after which I can leave it all behind.

What a strange life I live.

[Edited at 8:50 pm]